Building A Foundation

Life's no cake walk. There's a certain rigor that comes with the day to day grind. In my attempts to learn an effective and efficient way to make it through a day, I've used certain steps that seemed to have compiled into a sturdy foundation. Today I've found a sense of pride in my ability to process and observe in order to evolve into a smarter and more able person. Throughout my young years, I feel I've created a standard good for me and the goals and creeds I try to live by. One can only take life a day at a time.

Take The Good With The Bad

Good days and bad days, everyone has them. But I make sure that every time I'm having a good day I take out time to stop and smell the roses. It's become like second nature to me. I've found in my young life that there's no better feeling than to be thankful for a full, productive and interesting day. A good day when you've learned something; about others or yourself. Try to be personable. Like the interaction between human beings. Practice it, make it your craft, and I'm sure it'll take you places you've never imagined. There's no person who is unlovable, just people who don't know how to handle that love.

Redemption

I am a high school drop out. I understand the stigmas that come with that title. But for the first time in a while, I was able to explain my side of the story. I took part in a meeting that aimed to find preventive methods for other students that planned on prematurely leaving school. I was part of a 8 person panel aloud to discuss its reasoning and opinions when considering dropping out. With a microphone in my hand, the inner most feelings about the complexities I faced in my high school years were released into the open air. Some of my deepest secrets were revealed and exposed for public analysis and examination. I decided internally that the truth behind my high school problems could somehow prevent another student from leaving without firstly digging deep within him or herself. I drove home feeling justified and content. Everyone has their own path and makes their own choices. It's the reasons that differ.

Fathers

What is a boy to do? My life is forced to be lived as if my father never exsisted. Not because I choose not to talk to him. But because he chooses to avoid me. I call when I know he's home...no answer. I leave messages with my phone number...no response. The only way he'll contact me is on the internet. It makes me wonder if I've hurt him in some way. There's nothing more that a boy needs more than his father. I need someone to emulate. I need a role model that isn't famous. I need guidelines and advice about being a man. You can only learn so much from books and television. I had never met my dad until I was three. For my fifth birthday my father gave me his last name. I've always loved my last name. There's no advice I can hear that would obsolve the confusion and pain that comes with the current state of our relationship. Pray for me.

Faith

Where do people go when they die? Some may say nothing happens. Some may say you meet your judgement. Regardless of your answer, you are faithful of what happens. Faith is a universal thing; whether you're religious or not. But when considering the impact a person can have, both negatively and positively, it further motivates me to believe that something has to happen after you're time on earth is done. How can a man or woman who improves this world go without being redeemed with the pride or peace for their contributions? How can a mass murderer be given an easy ticket for escape by death after comitting unspeakable acts of evil? Is murder a justified act? Are ethics and morality just a fad? Choose or don't. In either case you're faithful in your answer, even if you don't have one.

Acquiring New Vision

I've enhanced my point of view. Not only am I a keenly observant person, I've added a second element to my opinion. Driving through the heart of my town, I felt something I never had before. I could feel the pain and sorrow of those around me. Even if just for a moment, I felt in sync with those around me and their constant struggle for bettermant. It's exciting; making progress like this. Afterall, home is where you make it. I got the overwhelming sense that we were all linked, and in that observation I drew a new sense of comfort; a deeper love for my home and community. Tragedies and disasters happen everyday, but it's those who keep pushing and inspiring that make a place worth its praise.

Let His Blessing Rain Down On Me

Today I feel optimistic. The weather was unusually tolerable. Normally it's frigid and dry, but the sun shined through and warmed me for the most part. This weekend I've decided to stay home and work around the house. I could use the alone time. Some friend are probably heading to the local bar to play pool and drink, but I'm just not up to it today. I've been watching movies a lot this week. It's one of my favorite things to do. I especially enjoy fantasies or a good drama. I'm a sucker for an interesting story line. It's refreshing to submit an entry to my blog. It's been a little while but like I said before, some days I'm low on ammo. It probably could write everyday, if I forced myself, but I'm not sure it'd work out well. What could really go wrong though? Nothing too severe I'm sure. I'm positive I'm creative enough to do write everyday. After all, the blog is called "Daily Happenings". Sorry, I'm blabbing. This entire month is Black History Month. It's nice to have an allotted amount of time to remember the advancements of black culture. Though I'm not sure who created Black History Month, I'm obliged to recognize it. God is love.

Where Do I Belong? (being bi-racial)

Times have changed. But as much as they've changed, they've stayed the same. At times I'm afraid; afraid to be me. What I see in the world is frightening. And what I take away from my observations is that race matters. Often, I feel disadvantaged. I've lived with a white woman my entire life, and the older I get, the more behind the times and stranded I feel. My mother taught me to not see race as much as someone's heart and soul. It's apparent I'm flustered, stuck in a bind and searching for a place to belong. I live in a predominantly white area, and I feel like I'm losing what it is too be black. It's scary. I watch the world and feel obligated to change the way I look at people. I pray for the right answer to my problem. But what makes my questions more important than any others? Sometimes I feel disadvantaged and late when it comes to being part of a whole. I have bi-racial brothers and sisters around the world but I think this race is the most advanced when it comes to being blind of race. I only yearn to belong because I'm scared to stand alone. I don't know who to trust or what I should believe in in these times. Hardships and pressure create a man, I'm guessing, and I have no example to follow and no man to admire, which adds to my fear. A bad choice here or there can lead me down the road to self-destruction. On this matter I pray. I pray to retaliate my fear. I don't want to be racially motivated, I'm just searching for answers, searching for protection in belief. I'm afraid of my Karma. Afraid I have something waiting for me. It may seem dark of me, but I need to express it in order to keep a fresh outlook.

Late Night Entry

I've gone without cable plenty of times throughout my life. All of the times it came in an involuntary way. But one thing I've noticed while being without such a fundamental commodity is that, in my opinion, it's just as much a controlled substance as any drug. Ideas are passed down from executives to busy workers brainstorming for the most catchy and engaging ideas. And one way to recognize those people are good at their jobs is realizing how many hours one clocks into the television set. Sometimes a person could watch 5 hours of T.V. and not remember a single commercial or program. At times I find myself turned off when thinking about how ruthless the television is. Advertising majors sure make have an easy way to make their money's worth. I've caught myself daydreaming about how easily I'm handing my life over to those who are payed to make you sit down and watch something. Our nation is plagued with obesity yet we cater it due to the revenue accrued through cable initiative. The imperative thing with such a realization is will it force me to change the amount of T.V. I watch, or will it cause me to stop watching T.V. all together. In some respects, such an awareness would be futile without some type of life change or alteration concerning my T.V. usage. My response is this; being cognizant of this version of "The American Dream" (freedom of speech through the t.v.), I'm confident that I'll be able to grasp when enough is enough, and maybe limit my tube watching time. I don't think I could have such a strong and important opinion about television as this, and it not affect my life in one way or another. I'll be sure to keep a tab on it.

Proud To Be Considered Black

To everyone who acknowledges it, Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day. With his ideas of non-violent protests and righteous devotion, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. paved the way for many of the race less freedoms that black people enjoy today. I am half white and half black, but in the eyes of a politically correct society I'm black. I carry that label proudly, in hopes to one day contribute to the advancement of African American culture through higher education and a knowledgeable career. However, race is still an issue in many places throughout the world. It would be naive of me to think that racial divides don't still exist today. Gangs, hatred and violence still plague our country with race being the pillar of reasoning behind them. Without an intellectual approach to racial issues, progress in this department will be close to nil. Join many people in having an unbiased voice in racial issues so that we can continue treating men, women and children as equals.

Starting The New Year Off Right

In the first few weeks of 2010, I feel optimistic. I seem to be managing my time better than I ever have in the past. When I'm faced with a problem I feel strong enough and motivated to figure out a solution. It's a vibrant type of alertness I'm experiencing, and when you feel like I do in the early days of a new year, it rubs off on those around you. Life is what you make it; you can see the glass half full or half empty. The ironic part to that belief is that some people don't even realize why they see their cup the way they do. I say, dive into the deep ocean of self discovery and have a ball. Let the sun shine on your hopes and dreams, and when you reach dark or cold patches in the water, see if there's enough light for you to open your eyes, regardless if the water is salty. The more you discover about yourself, the more you learn about others. **God bless**

1/8/10

The book is called "Beyond Style, Mastering the Finer Points of Writing" by Gary Provost. I've decided to take notes while I read. I've realized it satisfies my hunger for advancement in writing. Today I bumped into a great new discovery. The word "problem" derives from the Greek work "proballien" which means to throw forward; meaning problems are there to provide the opportunity of advancement. If we learn to love problems instead of resisting them, we can expand the boundaries in which we live. This analogy also can pertain to barriers. If I learn to fall in love with theses two things that are universally hated, my perspective and approach towards life's hardships will leave me in the best position for progress. A perfect example is me being afraid of losing steam and ambition for school at some point down the road. If I totally accept this fear and allow it to run its course, then I will prevail with a newer and more refreshed ambition for the continuance of my education, blog entries and extra curricular reading. I know hat I'm capable of so much and doubt would be as detrimental as robbery.